Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Relationship Advice for the Couple

It's Like Drinking a Lager -- Get Used to it

Sometimes when it's nighttime, you have to go out and experience the city life. If you don't drink coffee or don't drink beers, you've got a fucked up life-experience, seriously. Stop being a fucking Mormon because you aren't one anyway, so fucking get over it you masochistic idiot. Seriously.

I'm going to break every blogger convention here and fuck things up because I can, and will.

People live lives too safely, unless they're just insane, and that obviously doesn't count. Those who are sane are shy, reserved, and don't have a taste for life. I can see it in your eyes, you noob. I read it when you crossed the threshold into this cafe.

Nighttime is only dangerous if you're in the wrong place. Don't go to the wrong place, please.

Basically, you need to grow up, because clearly you're a NOOB, aagh, get over it and experience life. Just because you live in a suburban district doesn't mean you can't go to the local downtown district and enjoy a little high life. Fucking try it, or I'll call you a noob again. Pshaw.

The last thing I'll say is this: if you're a virgin, it's because that's the way life wants to treat you, not because you are a loser.

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